| Da Roolz (you know we gotta have 'em, right?)
Now that I have email on this thing, I can have some fun and so can you. Email me your Cajun jokes and we will put them on dis-a-here joke page. We will have a contest to see, by vote, who has the best Cajun joke.
Please leave us your daytime contact phone number in case we need to clarify anything and put 'cajun joke' in the subject line.
Send jokes to floydsmeatandseafood@gmail.com.
There are a few rules:
1) Keep it clean.
We have people of all types looking at this, so nothing over PG rated. We hold the right to edit anything that is a little too racy.
2) Keep it short.
No 'War and Peace' length jokes. We want people to laugh, not fall asleep.
3) Keep it nice.
Hog fans, no pulling Tiger tails, LSU fans, no snout poking. It's all clean fun and love in the SEC family here.
Hogs and LSU jokes involving the Aggies, however, are fair game.......
4) Keep it in context.
We are looking for jokes about Louisiana, the South having to do with LA, Cajuns, cooking, gators, crabs,heritage, etc.
5) Leave us your name.
When we post the joke, we will use your first name and last name initial as well as your town and state. (Lisa M., Jacksonville AR)
And now... on to the Fun Stuff!
Fancy Feet
A spoiled young lady from New York City was shopping in a store in Houma, Louisiana. Looking over the selection of alligator purses, shoes, belts and handbags, she complained to the shop keeper about the high prices of the goods.
The shop keeper said, "Well Ma'am, trapping and killing an alligator for its skin is hard work and it costs a lot of money and if you think you can do it cheaper, go try it yourself."
"OK, I think I will do just that!!" fancy girl said, and out the door she flounced.
Later that evening, the shop keeper was driving home thru the bayous and he spotted a dead alligator laying on the side of the road. And another. And another, and yet another.
Then he spotted the fancy young lady, pants legs rolled up, knees deep in the Louisianabayou, shotgun in hand.
She shot an alligator, grabbed it by its tail and hauled it up on the bank and rolled it over.
"Dammit!" she yelled, "this one isn't wearing shoes EITHER!!"
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
Pop Quiz!
Q: Do you know the difference in a Cajun and a Coon Ass?
A: A Cajun can look at a field of rice and tell you how much is there,
a Coon Ass can tell you how many gallons of gravy it takes to cover it all.
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
Whats In a Name?
Two friends were driving thru central Louisiana and came upon Natchitoches, a city known for its meat pies and Christmas light display.
An argument broke out about how to pronounce the name of the city.
Its Natchitoches, its Nagodoches, its Natchitoches, its Nagodoches. Back and fourth they argued.
They grew weary of the debate and decided to stop and grab a bite to eat.
At the restaurant, one of the friends asked the young man behind the counter, "Hey, my friend and I are having a disagreement about how to say the name of this place, can you settle our argument?"
The young man behind the counter leaned foreward and slowly said, "Bur-Ger-King "
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
(By the way, its pronounced NACK O DISH, Nagadoches is in TEXAS)
Mowin' and Rowin'
Marie was talking to her friend, Lucille about how much rain they had been getting lately as the two ladies sat drinking Cafe Du Monde coffee on top of the roof of her mobile home.
They discussed weather, humidity, the price of crawfish and other things.
Lucille looked down and saw a baseball cap floating back and forth and back and forth and back and forth in front of the trailer.
She said,"Marie you see that baseball cap down there, what is up with that?"
Marie looked over the side and said, "Oh, that's just my husband, I told him he had to cut that darn grass come hell or high water!"
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
Fishin' for Luck
Rion was sitting on the dock fishing when his friend, Greg pulled up in his boat with a whole bunch of rolls of Duck tape in a bucket. "What in the world are ya doin with the duck tape?" he asked Greg.
"I'm gonna go get me some ducks, silly," he replied.
"What? You not gonna get no ducks with duck tape!"
Greg said, "Oh, we will see about that'', and motored away.
Later that evening, Greg returned to the dock with a boatload full of dead ducks.
The next morning, Roin was sitting on the dock fishing and Greg showed up in his boat with a bucket full of grey Louisiana mud.
"Now what, you gonna go get you some mudbugs?" Rion laughed at his friend as he motored away.
"Watch and see," Greg called out over his shoulder.
That evening, Greg pulled up at the dock with red swamp crawfish filling up the bottom of his boat.
Rion shook his head in disbelief.
The next morning when Greg pulled up at the dock with a bucket full of pussywillow plants, Rion jumped up and said, "Hang on, I'm getting my hat and I'm going with you!"
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
Pop Quiz!
Q: What is the difference in zoos all over the United States and zoos in Louisiana?
A: Regular zoos tell you all about the animal and where it comes from; zoos in Louisiana tell you how to cook it.
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
Life Lessons
Mamma crawfish was out one day with all her children teaching them how to live and what to watch out for
and how the world was. She also told them what to run from if it was dangerous.
"Listen to me, chirren'', she say, "Cuz Im only gonna told you this once, so pay attention'', she say.
So she is pointing out the rocks and the trees and the grass and one of her chirren say, ''Oh, mamma, what dat be, we be scared of that?"
Mamma crawfish say, ''No, child, dat jus' a cow, cows don't eat crawfish, so pay attention to me cuz I'm only gonna say dis one time."
They continue to walk thru the field an' she point out things to them an' teach them things to be scared of� and things not to be scared of. One of her chirren say "Oh, mamma what dat be? We be scared of dat?"
Mamma crawfish look an' she say,"No, child, dat jus' a horse, horses don't eat crawfish, so pay attention, I'm jus'gonna say dis one time, so lissen to what I say."
On thru the field they go, Mamma crawfish teachin' her chirrens all about life and stuff.
One of her chirrens say, "Mamma, dat thing got two legs over there, what dat be?"
Mamma crawfish stop dead in her tracks. Her eyes get huge wide. "Oh, NO!!!" she yells. She takes off running away from her chirrens as fast as her 10 little legs can carry her.
She yells over her shoulder, "RUN, chirrens, RUN!!!! Dats a Cajun! He eat ANYTHING!!!"
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
A Sporting Chance
An LSU fan was talking to some people about the upcoming home game in Baton Rouge and proudly displayed two tickets.
"Who is going with you to the game?" his friend asked.
"Nobody is going with me," he said.
"The first ticket is for my seat, and after I pick a fight with fans from the visiting team and they throw me out of the stadium, I have another ticket to get back in!"
Bacardi Rose, LSU fan
*************************************************************************************************************************************************
Bean Stick
Two Cajun ladies were exchanging recipes and how tos and trading ideas on cooking when the subject of the gaseous nature of beans came up.
"Beans make you fart, like it or not, " Marie said.
Lucille chimed in and said, "My beans don't, not ever."
Marie said, "What do you mean, you got some kind of magic, a secret you been keeping from me all these years?"
"Yes, I do," she said, going to her utensil drawer.
She pulled out a long, notched wooden stick and handed it to Marie.
"You put this stick in your bean pot with the top sticking out, and while the beans are cooking, all the little farts climb up the stick and jump out of the pot."
The Late Floyd Johnson, founder of Floyds as told by his mother, the late Miriam Hoot Johnson
*************************************************************************************************************************************************
Rice Is N-Ice
A man and his wife, both born and raised in South Louisiana, finally decided that they had enough of the hurricanes and tropical storms destroying everything they worked hard for time after time, so they moved to Arkansas.
"God will give us a sign if we're in the right place", he assured his worried wife.
One winter morning, the husband got up and looked out the window and all he could see was a deep, heavy blanket of pure white.
Being from deep in the bayous of Louisiana, he had never experienced snow before.
He ran upstairs and excitedly shook his wife awake.
"Honey! Wake up! Get the pots and pans and washtubs out and start making gravy! gallons and gallons of gravy !"
She opened one eye and looked at him and asked, "What are you yammering about, you darned fool?"
He yelled, "God has answered our prayers! The ground is knee deep in cooked rice!"
An original joke by Lisa Marshall, owner, Floyds
**********************************************************************************************************************************************
"Bored" with Fish
I came across a fish recipe that called for placing your fish on an oiled cedar plank and baking it in the oven.
You get a cedar plank, soak it, brine it,oil it and heat it, then you take your fish and clean it, season it and place seasoning between the skin and the flesh.
Place it on the oiled cedar plank and bake it for 30 minutes, then throw the fish away and eat the plank.
M. Moody Sherwood AR
************************************************************************************************************************
"X" Marks the Spot
Rion and Greg were out fishing together one afternoon and weren't having much luck.
As the sun started to go down, suddenly the fish started to bite like crazy.
They pulled in fish after fish after fish, filling the bottom of the boat.
Greg said, "Man, we gotta remember this spot so we can come back here tomorrow!"
Rion pulled a can of black spray paint out of his bag and made a huge black "X" in the bottom of the boat.
"There we go, now we can find this spot again tomorrow!", he told his friend.
Greg fired back, " Yeah, but how can we be sure we are gonna get the same boat ?"
Lisa Marshall, Owner, Floyds
************************************************************************************************************************************
Fleur de Flight
Rion and Greg were driving thru the countryside when they saw a huge billboard that said, "Open Cockpit Bi-Plane Rides"
Rion said, "I've never been in an airplane, have you?" Greg said, "No, I'm scared of flying and you couldn't pay me to get in one of those things."
Rion decided he wanted to give it a try, so they drove down the dusty country road and found the pilot and his open cockpit Stearman biplane. The pilot heard that Greg was afraid of flying, so he wagered that he would pay him one thousand dollars if he would go flying and not scream. Greg took that bet (cuz he wanted a new fishing boat) and off Rion, Greg and the pilot flew.
They flew all over.
They flew upside down.
They flew low over the bayou.
They did loop de loops and twists and turns.
They did barrel rolls.
Then they finally landed.
The pilot asked Greg, "Well, when would you have screamed, when we did the loop de loops?"
Greg said, "No."
"Well, would it have been when we flew upside down?"
Greg said, "No."
Exasperated and counting out the money he was promised, the pilot asked, "Well, whenWOULD you have screamed?"
Greg said, "When Rion fell out."
Kenneth Thibodeaux, Ville Platte, LA Best crawfish cooker in the world
****************************************************************************************************************************************************
|
